Public speaking: I'd rather get the electric chair

You know that dream where everyone is pointing and laughing and you look down and realize that you are completely naked?
Yeah.
They say that dream can be interpreted a lot of ways, one of them being a fear of public speaking, fear of being exposed in front of a bunch of people.
I got to experience this first-hand recently (NOT the naked part) when I was invited to speak to a local author's group about editing and writing. Now, I'm usually a pretty cool customer. Nothing ruffles me too much when it comes to being out in the public eye; after all, most of the time I'm on duty as a paramedic, and that's pretty high-profile. Also, I teach CPR. Can't be shy about doing chest compressions and trying to save a life.
So being invited to talk to the Sarasota Author's Connection this past Monday was not only an honor, but it should have been a piece of cake. I am quite passionate about writing and editing. And, I'm pretty fired up about our local authors. This area boasts some of the best writing talent around, and anything that goes to support them is good with me.
I had lots of notes prepared, since they asked me to speak for an hour. Keynote speaker! Little old me!
My topics were all laid out: different kinds of manuscript editing, the goals of the editor, the precarious relationship between author and editor. I had a few jokes thrown in, and had given the presentation several times to my fellow drivers whizzing by on the Interstate while in the car. I also did a test-run in front of the dog, who was neither impressed nor offended. I had on my nicest Ann Taylor black suit, and actually did my hair for once. I was all set.
And then I stepped out in front of a room full of people. When the applause died down, I was frozen, trapped in the lights.
Like being naked in the dream.
What is it about public speaking that frightens us so? I remember the joke Jerry Seinfeld used to do about phobias and how fear of death was number two compared to speaking in public. Death was number two. How is that possible?
After Monday night, I see how it's entirely possible. While I made it through my presentation, got the points across and (hopefully) answered all of their questions, I was terrified the entire time. Perspiration was rolling down my back, and I'm reasonably sure all of my make-up slid right off onto the floor. I know I stuttered a few times. Once, I knocked the notes cards off the podium and got them jumbled, losing my place.
It's fair to say I'll think twice before presenting again. I'm more of a behind-the-scenes kind of girl, who'd rather put the clients in the spotlight. I'll just hide behind the curtain and make sure they look good. I can do the whole PR thing and promote anybody but myself.
Besides, I've come to the conclusion that I prefer the written word. Talk is cheap.